today's the first day i can actually look at u without feeling like killing myself.
perhaps i'm getting over u.
i can think of u without feeling sad.
not that i will forget u.
because i never will.
but i'm quite sure u wouldn't want me to pine after u.
*******************************************
I want a little something more
Don't want the middle or the one before
I don't desire a complicated past
I want a love that will last
Say that you love me
Say i'm the one
Don't kiss and hug me and then try to run
I don't do drama
My tears don't fall fast
I want a love that will last
I don't want just a memory
Give me forever
Don't even think about saying good-bye
Cuz i just want one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till i die
So call me romantic
Oh i guess that is so
There's something more that you oughta know
I'll never leave you
So don't even ask
I want a love that will last
Forever
I want a love that will last
I don't want just a memory
Give me forever
Don't even think about saying good-bye
Cuz i just want one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till i die
So there's just a little more than i need
I wanna share all the air that you breathe
I'm not the kinda girl to complicate the past
I want a love that will last
Forever
I want a love that will last
Always I just want a love that will last
Want a love that will last
-renee olstead-
*******************************************
yup.
i want a love that will last.
watched Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.
i love this movie!
anne hathaway is so beautiful!
callum blue is cute!
chris pine is HOT!!!
oh my god.
if all the men looked like chris pine, or even something close to that, it would be too soon.
sigh.
but this kinda thing belongs in fairy tales.
it is extremely rare that u find such encounters in the real world.
such a pity.
i'm torturing myself by watching all this sappy rom-coms.
Notting Hill, Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, There's Something About Mary.
i should stop.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 6:44 PM
u know who u are.
*********************************************
thank you.
thank you for the memories.
we've had good times.
i'll never forget u.
as much as u must hate me now for what i did to u, i hope u can find it in ur heart to forgive me.
i wish things could've been different.
if only our situations were different, maybe we'd be together now.
i really do hope u can forget all those hurtful things i said to u before.
seriously, i never meant to say such hateful words.
they were only said in a moment of stupid anger.
i hope that perhaps we'll be as close as we once were one day.
i don't know when that day will come, or if it ever will.
but till then i'll pray for our friendship to once again become whole.
i'll miss u, even if i don't show it.
hope we can keep in touch.
*********************************************
cheryl [I`m in love.] 12:14 AM
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new day
I'm reminded of my past
Everytime there's another storm
I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope 'cause I get another chance
But I will try
I will try
Got nothing
Left to hide
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
**************************************************************************
i guess that's it then.
i won't be returning to mjc next year.
i'll be leaving behing all my friends.
it's really so sad.
it took so much combined effort and a really long time to form such a friendship.
and now, all within a matter of minutes, it's all gonna fall apart.
i really am gonna miss everyone dearly.
hope we will continue to be great friends and stay in touch.
****************************************************************************
in a way it's a good thing we're just friends now.
it makes leaving a whole lot easier.
but my heart is reluctant.
i know we'll never be anything more than friends.
i guess i gotta live with that.
i'll never forget u.
thank you for the good times.
****************************************************************************
When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
cheryl [I`m in love.] 12:07 AM
now i regret dreadfully.
but what can i do?
so many what ifs are swirling through my head.
what if i had worked a little harder?
what if i had done my tutorials faithfully?
what if i hadn't let my want of a relationship blindside me?
what if?
everyone's telling me, don't worry, u'll be fine.
somehow, i'm not convinced.
how can i not worry?
i'm being retained.
*****************************************
i wonder how u can live with urself after all those comments u said.
don't u feel even the least bit guilty for saying such nasty things?
ok fine, maybe u don't realise how hurtful those things u said are.
so a word of advice to u.
think twice, thrice, four times before u open ur mouth.
u might say something u'll regret the very next instant.
i don't know if u're trying to be funny or maybe u're just spastic.
but try that one more time and u'll be sorry.
my patience is running thin.
i've tolerated u for a very long time already.
so don't push ur luck.
and as for him, don't even think about it.
u'll never get him.
never.
******************************************
i'm looking at my options now.
seriously quite little, but it's something for the time being.
i'm reading a great book i borrowed from the library.
Along Came A Spider by James Patterson.
superb storyline, thrilling plot.
go read it.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 1:28 AM
i just watched a really touching movie.
Joan of Arc.
she was only 17.
the same age as me.
and she was leading an army of 12 000 men into battle.
god, just imagine.
****************************************
i've got things to say to a couple of people.
so here goes.
****************************************
maybe i'm starting to get over u.
or maybe i've just been so busy with work today that i didn't even have the time to think of u.
i still feel the pain.
it doesn't hurt as much anymore.
but only by a little bit.
i still hold on to you.
i just can't seem to let go.
today i felt like i was drowning.
u're cold.
i understand totally.
u wanna distance urself from me.
it's good in a way.
but my heart...
i'm being such a drama queen.
i wanna know why.
just tell me why.
why must u treat me so?
am i so detestable?
i know i'm fighting a losing battle here.
cos i'll never have ur heart.
i never did.
****************************************
what makes u think u're far superior than me?
what makes u think u're so perfect?
well, guess what?
u're not.
i couldn't win his heart.
what makes u think u can?
if i failed, what makes u think u can succeed?
i failed.
u definitely don't stand a chance.
don't mess with me.
i'm a great friend.
u don't want me for an enemy.
trust me on that.
so don't shoot ur mouth off to me.
u better watch what u say.
i know better now.
****************************************
why must u be so selfish?
can't u see that this kind of behaviour just makes people worry for ur sanity.
u want one thing after another.
u're never satisfied.
i don't think u'll ever be.
u've gotten so used to people bowing and scraping after u.
don't think u're queen.
cos u're not.
even queens know their limits.
good queens love one and all, not themselves.
i don't think u've ever gotten so much as a "no" for an answer practically ur whole life.
so here's one for u now, in answer to whether i'll ever forgive u for what u've done.
yeah, u guessed it.
NO.
****************************************
there.
a whole load off my chest.
i almost feel better already.
almost.
****************************************
Sometimes love is addiction
Sometimes it hurts like hell and
Sometimes you just can not get enough
cheryl [I`m in love.] 11:42 PM
| Your French Name is: |
 |
cheryl [I`m in love.] 8:58 AM
| Your Hair Should Be Pink |
 Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow. |
cheryl [I`m in love.] 8:53 AM
i've been in a deep funk these past few days.
the sky's clearing up a little.
but it's still overcast.
nothing i, or for that matter, anyone can do anything about.
****************************************
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be
Catch myself from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy every day
I know I will be OK
But I was
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be
So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain what is lost inside
And I hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind
I'll be over you
But now I'm
So confused, my heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there for me
-gabrielle-
*************************************
i am pissed off.
i wrote so much and stupid blogspot made my entire entry disappear.
why does everything going wrong when i'm down?
i'm just gonna write down what i can remember.
**************************************
i don't care what people say.
this wasn't a silly schoolgirl crush.
this was something different.
something more.
i let u go because i love you.
and u have no idea how reluctant i am to do so.
but it seems that i have no choice, after u put it that way.
it pains me to know that u belong to someone else.
she's lucky.
what can i say?
i'm just unlucky in love.
************************************
Love is an energy
Love is a mystery
Love is meant to be true
Love is a part of me
Love is the heart of me
Love is the best thing that we do
-ashlee simpson-
cheryl [I`m in love.] 12:25 AM
who will be the one to save me from myself?
Still
you hurt me so,
but still i love you.
you tear my heart to shreds,
but still i love you.
people say i'm young, move on,
but still i hold on to the memory of you.
people say it isn't love,
but still i feel it is, no matter what they say.
my soul is distressed,
but still i cling on to you.
i wanna feel anger and hate you,
but i'm just not that sort of person.
all i feel is hurt and pain,
but still i love you.
Make Me
make me ill,
so medicine will cure me of you.
make me mad,
so i will feel angry and hate you.
make me drunk,
so the alcohol will make me numb.
make my mind empty,
so i will stop thinking of you.
make me blind,
so i won't see anything that reminds me of you.
make me deaf,
so i won't hear the songs we both love.
make me mute,
so i won't speak a word about you.
make me lose all my senses,
so i will finally get over you.
******************************************************
these are 2 poems i wrote whilst i sat and dreamed of days gone by and days to come.
being unable to voice out what i actually feel, i searched within myself the last vestiges of hope.
perhaps it isn't such a bad thing that this happened to me.
i try to keep telling myself that.
i try to pull myself out of the swirling vortex of my dark thoughts.
but i know, deep down, that i'm deceiving no one.
my sleep is fitful.
my dreams are dark.
i cry at night, when the world is asleep.
no one hears me.
loneliness.
the one thing that will ultimately kill me.
**************************************************
who's gonna catch me when i fall?
cheryl [I`m in love.] 10:50 PM
day 3.
there's a heavy feeling in my heart.
when i walk, it's like my legs are made of lead, dragging my every step down.
i can't feel happy.
i can't make myself laugh.
sure, on the outside, i look happy and cheery, like nothing happened at all.
but inside, inside i'm hurting real bad.
it's like there's a tiny person using acid to scrub away ur name that's carved on my heart.
it's gonna take a long time for ur name to disappear, cos it's etched so deep.
so i guess i have to endure the pain.
c'est la vie.
that's life.
when i heard the lyrics of a chinese song of a drama serial, suddenly my heart gave a lurch.
the lyrics were so real.
i was living it.
correction.
i AM living it.
and it's killing me.
a translation of the song.
or at least one part of it.
my chinese sucks.
so sue me.
u insist that u don't want me to wait.
and so i quietly let you walk away.
tell me now, am i wrong to cry?
i'm hurting real bad. do you know?
cheryl [I`m in love.] 1:20 AM
i awoke feeling lost and unwanted.
it drags me down.
i didn't even wanna get out of bed.
i just wanted to sleep.
forever.
if it wasn't that i had to meet mei ying at white sands for breakfast, i probably would've just stayed in bed.
had macs for breakfast with mei ying and meixi.
there's seriously something wrong.
i shouldn't be eating excessively.
don't anyone dare come preach to me that i'm not fat.
i'm not in the mood to hear that.
had to go back to school for pw.
boring.
singapore's weather is stifling.
throw mj's pe shirt into the picture and even a cow can be suffocated.
went to uncle francis' house for dinner.
yummy!
my uncle is a great cook.
watched tv and talked on the phone with mei ying for awhile before i got screamed at to put down the phone.
today's the second day i'm without u.
and i don't like it.
i sit on my bed, just thinking of things, trying my hardest not to think of u.
but somehow, ur face just manages to appear in my mind.
and all of a sudden, everything becomes a blur and i see a mixture of colours in a spectrum.
suddenly i feel a pain in my heart, not physically.
i know this sounds so lame.
but that's the way it is.
I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go, baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
Wanting you the way that I do
cheryl [I`m in love.] 1:14 AM
I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts 'cause it will end
And my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' 'bout you
Honestly tell me that it's over
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly tell me that it's over
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Yeah I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
Over over over
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
Can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly tell me that it's over
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over
Over
Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's over
-lindsay lohan-
***********************************************
well i guess that's it then.
it's goodbye, i guess.
back to same humdrum life i live.
no more looking forward to tomorrow, when i can see ur face again.
thanks for brightening up my bad days with just ur appearance and a kind word.
i guess all this is over.
i thought i felt the vibes.
guess i was wrong.
once again.
they say if u love someone, u'll let him go.
so here i am, letting u go.
********************************************
just finished taking a nice long soothing shower after a depressing day.
woke up to shouting, nagging and long lectures.
at 6.30am.
i kid u not.
thankfully, my dad returns from medan tmr morning.
got the distressing news in the car, just as mom was scolding away.
seriously, that woman just cannot ever stop nagging. it's a bad habit.
i couldn't react, otherwise she would've become suspicious.
so i suffered in silence.
trust me, the feeling sucks bigtime.
mjc open hse today.
i am SO proud to be a meridian.
helped out at the class booth in the early part of the day, then went off gallivanting with friends.
guan and nick came. nice of them. sorry i had to make u guys wait so long and then ditch u guys.
my school is seriously fucked up.
mei ying and biondi came later.
there was the whole fiasco of mei ying's lost handphone.
went over to mei ying's house for dinner.
her mom is a fabulous cook.
hung out in her room, cried a bit over stuff and talked. i love long convos with my best fren.
watched Along Came Polly. jennifer aniston has a bod to die for!
then mom came to pick me up at 11pm.
is 11pm an "ungodly" hour?
seriously, man.
so now, it's back to the screaming and cussing.
yay.
time heals all wounds, no matter how deep.
i need eternity.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 1:15 AM
i'm back to feeling sorry for myself again.
i really hate this feeling.
life was going so good.
what happened?
now everything's gone wrong.
i didn't want this to happen.
u raise me up amongst the clouds, only to bring me crashing down to earth again the very next minute.
don't u see?
u're on my mind wherever i go.
it's no use asking me to forget.
because i can't.
i just can't.
don't make me forget u.
u're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
and u don't let good things go.
ever.
************************************************
Of all the faces in the world
That I would like to see,
Yours is still the only one
That always comes to me.
For though I've travelled far and wide
And met with kings and queens,
Your golden laugh and sunny smile
Stay with me in my dreams.
-'The Sailor's Wish' Sweet Valley "Jessica's Blind Date"-
*************************************************
cheryl [I`m in love.] 8:57 PM
You Are A: Duckling!
The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.You were almost a: Puppy or a Chipmunk
You are least like a: Turtle or a GroundhogWhat Cute Animal Are You?
cheryl [I`m in love.] 8:23 PM
i heard some devastating news today.
when i heard it, my heart just sank down.
Down to the deepest, coldest depths of the ocean.
it was like someone had whacked a ball into my gut, knocking the wind outta me.
i couldn't breathe.
i can't believe it.
why, oh why?
it's like i'm stuck in a bad movie.
one which has lots of reruns.
it's like i'm stuck in a vicious cycle.
i wouldn't have minded if it were someone else.
but not u.
why does it have to be u?
here i am, once again, i'm torn into pieces
cheryl [I`m in love.] 9:40 PM
u have no idea who i am.
don't even begin to try and understand me.
don't make the mistake of underestimating me.
trust me, u don't wanna get on my wrong side.
don't assume u know me, cos u don't.
next time u think of saying something spiteful or hurtful, don't.
don't even bother.
cos stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
sure, i'm not perfect.
but then again, neither are u.
so what gives u the idea that u can try to snatch what's mine?
there are some things in this world u can't share.
all's fair in love and war.
i'll make bloody sure i win.
i'm no pushover.
so back off.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 11:22 PM
oh joy!
had a brilliant day today.
this is what dreams are made of.
*****************************************************************************
Everytime you're near baby
I get kinda crazy in my head for you
I don't know what to do
And oh baby
I get kinda shaky when they mention you
I just lose my cool
My friends tell me
Somethin' has come over me
And I think I know what it is
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin' silly things when it comes to you
In love, boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin' all my friends what I feel for you
Just the other night baby, I saw you hangin'
You were with your crew
I was with mine too
You took me by surprise
When you turn and look me in my eyes
Boy you really blow my mind
I don't know what's gotten into me
But, God, I think I know what it is
In love, boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin' all my friends what I feel for you
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin' silly things when it comes with you
Somethin' strange has come over me
Got me goin' out of my mind
Never met a guy like you before
You make me feel special inside
I think I'm in love
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin' silly things when it comes to you
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin'' all my friends what I feel for you
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin' silly things when it comes to you (goin' outta my mind)
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin' all my friends what I feel for you
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin' silly things when it comes to you
I think I'm in love
Boy I think I'm in love with you
I've been tellin' all my friends what I feel for you
- jessica simpson-
*******************************************************************************
god, please don't take this beautiful thing away from me.
not again.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 12:24 AM
i'm in love.
at least i think i am.
And i hope it all turns out good.
i love my life.
and this time, i'm not being sarcastic.
got a job at pastamania at plaza singapura with him.
we're not even sure if we're gonna work there.
the pay sucks bigtime. only $4 an hour. wtf.
we applied for a job at carrefour at ps too. hopefully we get it.
praying and hoping and wishing with all my heart
cheryl [I`m in love.] 7:41 PM
sometimes, good things happen.
i'm glad they do.
Baby, oh
Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad baby
Quit playin' games with my heart
Quit playin' games with my heart (with my heart)
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearin' us apart (my heart, my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I live my life the way
To keep you comin' back to me
Everything I do is for you
So what is it that you can't see
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
You better quit playin' games with my heart
Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad baby
Quit playin' games with my heart
Quit playin' games with my heart (with my heart)
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearin' us apart (my heart, my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I live my life the way
To keep you comin' back to me
Everything I do is for you
So what is it that you can't see
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
You better quit playin' games with my heart
Quit playin' games with my heart (with my heart)
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearin' us apart (my heart, my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearin' us apart (my heart, my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
Quit playin' games
Baby, baby the love that we had was so strong
Don't leave me hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not alright, let's stop this tonight
Baby, baby the love that we had was so strong
Don't leave me hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not alright, let's stop this tonight
-backstreet boys-
this song says it all. if u're for real, tell me.
quit playing games with my heart.
let's just stop with all the guessing games.
even if there's absolutely nothing, tell me so i can get over u.
another song comes to mind. lindsay lohan's "Over".
but we'll just leave that till then. if it happens.
if anything good comes out of this, i won't even need to post those lyrics.
*smile*
went rollerblading today. yes, ur eyes r perfectly fine. that's right, i went rollerblading, even though i had utterly no clue how to rollerblade at all. e gang, except yilin n wenze went to east coast park to rollerblade. i had so much fun, even though my toe was just killing me. it was a memorable day.
are u serious?
i don't know.
think before u speak, cos u never know if someone will take u seriously or not.
please don't hurt me again.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 12:06 AM
have u ever had the feeling that u wanna do something to help someone but u know, deep down in ur heart, that u just can't?
well, i feel that way now.
And i'm hating myself to the core for it.
u think u really understand the people u've known practically ur whole life.
but in actual fact, u don't.
u think that the people u thought cared most about u would hardly have a spiteful word against u, and even if they had, it would've only been said in a moment of anger.
but truth be told, they don't give a fuck about u or ur feelings.
it's like i'm an invisible being, a sheet of glass, a ghost. some kind of phantom being.
they say that the worse kinda torture one can inflict upon another, and leave the deepest and most painful scarring, is neglect.
sheer, utter neglect.
nothing more, nothing less.
i never gave a thought about it before, why i always tolerated this shit.
perhaps i was deluded.
always thinking that tomorrow would be a better day.
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, i love ya, tomorrow, u're only a day away"
what a load of crap.
no such thing.
everyday is just a battle of keeping the hope alive, that someday, things would get better.
i always thought i could roll with the punches.
u know, take life one step at a time, accept any challenges life had to offer.
guess i was sorely mistaken.
one thing leads to another.
i've been looking so hard for a long time.
some people just get it easier than others.
life just isn't fair.
there is no such thing as 'fair' in life.
if there was, there'd be no people starving in the streets, no racial discrimination, no crime, and a whole other bunch of stuff, probably too insignificant to get much attention anyway.
life's not fair, and that's the way things are.
some people get rich, some people get poor.
it's survival of the fittest, baby.
no matter how civilised we become, it all boils down to that simple rule.
no two ways about it.
u're probably thinking, why's this girl so cynical?
think about it.
if u lived my life, u'd feel the same way too.
wait a minute.
that's right, u don't know my life.
u don't even know me.
so don't fucking judge me.
i'll live my life the way i want.
i live by my rules.
no one else can tell me how to live my life.
besides, i'm not even wanted.
i never was, to begin with.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 1:33 AM
great.
i'm supposed to be practising for my math paper on mon, but no, here i am sitting in front of the comp, typing this entry.
just read my bestie's blog. only got one thing to say man.
AWWW...
how come u're so eloquent with your words?
i could never come up with such nice things to say.
next time, i promise.
had math consultation today. no use. hardly did anything. ended up and borrowing dvds from the library. 8 Mile and Ned Kelly.
i love Eminem. He is SO hot.
i'm surprised my school library had 8 Mile stocked in their inventory.
i think the scriptwriter for the movie had a really easy time writing the script. practically every sentence was a vulgarity in itself.
can't wait for monday 11am to come. looking forward to hanging out with mei ying in the afternoon and the gang at night.
right now, it's back to work for me. i need more self-discipline.
if u're coming back into my life, please, don't hurt me again.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 10:26 PM
chem paper this afternoon. one word: fuck.
bio paper tmr. at 8am. and i don't remember a freakin' thing i scribbled on paper.
oh what a wonderful world i live in.
can't wait for e bloody exams to be over.
i'd be nuts not to.
will my heart ever stop leaping at the sight of you?
SIGH.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 9:04 PM
and so it begins. the mind-numbing hours of sitting in one position, endlessly scribbling and furiously writing down answers, some that make sense and some that are total nonsense. more often than not, they just happen to turn out to be absolute rubbish.
today was the first day of exams. don't get me wrong, i hate exams. i mean, who doesn't? but i feel sorta relieved that they've started. at least i can look forward to the end of the effing exams.
GP paper went relatively well today. thank god i read some of my notes the night before. really helped in my essay writing.
tomorrow is the chem paper. i am absolutely screwed. i can't, for the life of me, remember all the stuff i studied. holy crap. my exam is at 1pm tomorrow. i better get up early to cram. sigh.
what a positively exciting life i do lead.
cheryl [I`m in love.] 2:09 AM studied with e gang yesterday at starbucks. i am so gonna flunk my promos. sigh.
have u heard the story about a girl called Idiot? I'll tell u the story about a girl called Idiot. she walked into a cafe after lunch with a bunch of her friends, and who should she see sitting all by himself in a corner, but HIM. her heart leaps then sinks all the way down to the bottom of her shoes. she makes her escape, trying to calm herslf down. finally she makes her way back, trying to look cool and collected, but failing miserably. her friends all persuade her to make a move. she calms herself down and summons up her courage. she walks nonchalantly up to the counter and asks for whipped cream. she turns to HIM and casually says hi, and waves. HE looks up in astonishment and stares at her. finally he says hi and then looks down again, absorbed with his notes once more, leaving her feeling like a complete idiot. she grabs the cup of whipped cream and makes a dramatic exit, spinning on her heel and stalking back to her seat, where all her friends are laughing their asses off. she smiles weakly, trying not to show that she cared, even though she did. alot. and that was it. that was the moment. she suddenly realized that this just wasn't gonna work out. and so her heart decide to give it a rest, however reluctantly.
well, basically, to put it in much simpler terms,
Ffffuuuuuucccckkkk!
cheryl [I`m in love.] 11:26 AM
